Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Summary of Alegory of the cave
in the article "Alegory of the cave",it shows people who live in the "underground world" can not see thing clearly but themselves. Furthermore, those people seemingly can not be able to figure what the realityis even if the sun lighten their sights because they have gotten used to be in the dark and the sun light won't give them the right direction but distress them. Lastly,the author states that the idea of good appears at very end and when it is seen,it is refered to be the all the wonderful things.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hello Wenjie,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Juan and I will be giving you a what you did well and offer helpful feedback on what you need to work on:
1. Is the main idea (thesis) of the passage clearly and correctly stated?
NO
2. Are the important supporting ideas stated correctly and fully?
NO
3. Are all (or nearly all) unimportant ideas excluded?
YES
4. Is the summary in the writer’s own words?
YES
5. Is the summary written with few grammar/spelling/style errors?
YES
6. Does the summary retain the sense and organization of the original passage?
NO
7. Is personal opinion included in the summary?
NO
Wenjie,It is very important to maintain the reader focus of the development of the story. You are missing or passing lot details of the articles which are part of what you want to delivered to the reader. REMEMBER …. details and examples are an important part of reading comprehension and try to follow some process to explain from the main idea and then summarize the most important aspect to give a nice conclusion to the reader. You have potential with the connecting words but used them up to connect sentences property and all depends of the structure you want to provide. DO NOT forget to fix your grammar try to read little bit more.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHey Wenjie Liu! I'm Erica, I just wanted to give you some feedback on the Allegory of the Cave Summary.
ReplyDelete1. Is the main idea (thesis) of the passage clearly and correctly stated?
No.
2. Are the important supporting ideas stated correctly and fully?
No.
3. Are all (or nearly all) unimportant ideas excluded?
Yes.
4. Is the summary in the writer’s own words?
Yes.
5. Is the summary written with few grammar/spelling/style errors?
Yes.
6. Does the summary retain the sense and organization of the original passage?
No.
7. Is personal opinion included in the summary?
No.
I see that you have at least a of grasp of Plato's excerpt of what's he is trying to prove with the Allegory of the Cave but, which is the fact we're living in an illusion and that there is more to what the eye can see. You stated this spot on but, didn't have any examples or main points to elaborate on and the thesis wasn't clear. Here are some few pointers to make this Summary of the Allegory of the Cave, all yours! Being that you know the main point of the excerpt, use that as your main idea (your thesis). Your thesis shouldn't be more than one sentence, hit it spot on as you did at the beginning. After creating your thesis, leaving your personal opinion out; use the theories Plato gives within the prisoners being trapped in the cave and explaining what happens when one is expose to the "real" world. With those two main points, your summary should show more of the reading comprehison and should make your summary more elaborated/clear and less vague. After putting the main idea, the topic sentences and examples, Re-read and ask yourself does my summary have a thesis? Examples that are from the original text? & Explanation. Remember to leave personal opinion out.